I’m Exhausted

When I started my journal for today, I had full intentions to write something very positive. I even had inspiration drawn from today’s daily post. But I have to be honest with myself. Seeing the state of the world, specifically The United States, has me so upset and so tired. There has been so much violence and loss and it’s really taking a toll. I’m sure you’ve heard of the latest death due to police brutality. I’m just so exhausted at this point. I’m so fearful for my younger brothers. They’re two tall black boy. To me, I see the same babies that I used to rock to sleep in a makeshift hammock made from my comforter. But others may see two intimidating boys. I like to think that they’re safe since they’re so young, but that didn’t help Tamir. I’m so uncomfortable and anxious. I’m tired of seeing people, living breathing people, people being turned into hashtags. That hashtag was a person; a father, a friend, a loved one.

I’m so tired of seeing repeated injustice. It’s seen in the fact that rapists like Brock Turner getting less time than they deserve. It’s not making sense to me. It’s really taking a toll. I do try to focus on my creativity. The state of the world is really hurting my creativity. I’m so exhausted. I try to write, and sometimes I really just can’t get further than a few sentences. I’m just so tired. I don’t know.

I don’t know of this will be my only post for today. I never want to focus on negativity. But I’m just so tired.

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